Saturday 28 April 2012

Two Words

The HMS team has been back in Canada about a week now. 
The past few days have been filled with debrief, reflection and worship. 
Last night while we had our final barbeque, and while we worshiped 
I had two thoughts.
Two words. 
Arriving and Breaking

First off, I have realized that
I need a good breaking.
To be exposed
cracked open
made raw and sensitive
to even the most tender touch of God.
To His leading.
To the breaking of hearts.
Where my heart has become calloused
and does not know anymore how to recognize 
the soft touch of hand in need that reaches out
and the finger of God that points me where to love,
that is where I need a good breaking. 

Arriving

I began to ponder, while sitting in circle of students 
that just spent the past year on an incredible journey,
what is arriving? 
Something true for almost all people
in this life,
is that they want to arrive somewhere.
To reach a goal,
a destination, 
a final place.
Somewhere that we can work towards reaching,
something that we can plan on accomplishing. 
But, I think, if you want to arrive,
you need to stop heading somewhere else
outside of the present moment. 
We so easily wander into thoughts of reaching a place different 
and better
than where we are today. 
But to be here,
to be present  and to realize its impact on everything that is to come. 
That is what I think it means to arrive.
To allow yourself to catch up with yourself,
or to pull yourself back from getting too far ahead. 
Be here,
now. Really be here. 
See the the textures of the colors on the wall. 
See the way the light hits the corners of the room
casting shadows and highlights.
Hear the sound of worship,
hear it truly and deeply.
Here the rise and falls and the intonations of voices
being lifted up
and up. 
Arrive here, where you are now. 
Was the beginning of a semester, 

a trip,
 a journey leading to this place? 
Yes, ultimately. 
But only because the present
builds on the present to reach another day. 
Each day of your semester,
your term,
your trip,
your life,
is an arrival. 
 
Your destination is to be where you are now in Christ. 




 

Sunday 22 April 2012

Spring, Visas and the Oncoming Days

Well spring is finally, truly coming to Edmonton.
As classes at Vanguard have finally (not that I wasn't loving them dearly) come to a close
the days have been filled with a little study and a lot more time outside.
 Kite flying and outdoor meals have already commenced and I look forward to more in the future.

                                                               Take to the skies

 



                                                                               (photos courtesy of this girl)

In other, but important news, I received confirmation for my Rwandan VISA via email. I will present this certificate upon entry to the country as I travel through Rwanda and into DRC.
I mailed the VISA package for the DRC on Thursday,
hoping it will process quickly, without hiccups and return quickly.
The surreal phase is just beginning to hit me as school raps up and the trip approaches.
I find myself really wondering what the real life experience of traveling to
and living in the Congo will be.
I expect difficulties, I anticipate God's touch. I imagine it will be tough, I know it will be life changing. 
38 days remaining.



Sunday 15 April 2012

Wisdom

If I hashtagged, the hashtag to this post would be "reminding myself to shut up sometimes"
as I remember that a listening ear can perhaps speak more care than talking lips. 
Sometimes I think that the days when I was younger and shyer and
quite frankly, 
didn't know how to carry on a conversation, (#homeschooled....if I hashtagged)
were days where I also carried a wisdom which I have perhaps slightly lost now. 
Now I find myself being able to hold my own in conversation
but I also waste words, speaking thoughts just for the sake of speaking something. 
Making jokes simply to make a joke,
that probably only I will find funny.
 
Silence carries more subtly poignant and profound meaning
than a thousand thoughtless words ever could. 

As Spring is slowly approaching in Edmonton,
emphasis on the slowly....
Every time Spring seems to creep forward
Winter comes out another coarse gesture covering with the ground with snow...again.

But alas, Spring is still approaching and I can hear it in the birds. 
And as Spring is slowly approaching
and as I hear the evidence of this in the birds and in the wind and rain,
I am reminded to listen.
To not try and fill in the absence of words with words that would be but noise. 

When I walk outside, 
I can let my footsteps be footsteps.
I can let the songs being sung be music without lyrics.
I can let the beauty of the trees speak for themselves and just watch,
just observe,
 what each twisting branch and spring bud is trying to say 
through their movement in life. 

When I stop speaking and offering answers and solutions to everything...
I can ask myself, "what are the branches reaching for?"
"Who are the birds singing to?"
"Where is the wind headed and who will feel its touch today as I have felt it?" 

I know pretty soon, if I carry on this way,
 that I'll be telling you to sing with all the voices of the mountain
and that the herring and the otter are your friends.
But I'm not going to go there, because I don't really want to say or tell you anything at all.
This time,
I just want to listen. 

"Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue" - Proverbs 17:28


Monday 9 April 2012

A Simple Awe

My first round of travels this year has now come to a close.
Back in Canada now with great people and a particularly special girl :)

I was walking home late last night and just thinking about life.
I was enjoying the brisk Canadian air,
watching a city rabbit hop through the wet grass
and thinking about how I long for an ever greater awe for the simple things.
To have an awe for God's creation and to be able to see the intricate
yet subtle beauty in all things.
To see the touch of God in nature.
I would trade all my stuff and any riches for something like this.
After all, if you found such joy in the free things, what need would you have for anything else.

Flying over Russian rivers





At a Filipino School

A walk with some of the kids from Noah's Ark

View from Restaurant in Batan, Philippines

Koh Panyee, Thailand Schoolroom

Koh Panyee View

Koh Panyee


Bangkok Chalking
Alligator Wrastling

Takua Pa Wildlife

Koh Samed Wildlife

Flying over Alberta




"I will be poor, if it means I can find
more of a passion, for the secrets You hide"
-Delirious